


Legacies

by stevenAstarphase



Category: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Autism, Dissociation, Mental Health Issues, Other, Past Lives, Regret, Reminiscing, Requited Unrequited Love, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:30:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7171286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevenAstarphase/pseuds/stevenAstarphase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyon and Knoll reunite in another world, where they begin to slowly regain and unpack bitter memories of the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legacies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aunden (fiftymillionstars)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiftymillionstars/gifts).



> Happy birthgay Yarrow, hope u enjoy ur feel trip.  
> Also, Lyon is agender here so they use they/them pronouns :U Also also, there aren't any specific mental illness tags i needed so I just gave up RIP

As fate would have it, Lyon’s health wasn’t much improved in their next life. Neither did Knoll care much for venturing outside his studies, but that didn’t stop either of them. This new world they’d been born into was peaceful, bereft of the chaos they remembered Grado to have been in. 

If their consciousnesses were as fleeting and went as easy as they’d come, who knew how long they would be together in this universe? After all, the memories had only come flooding back when they were reunited. Would they disappear again if they separated, becoming even more of a distant dream than they already were? Knoll couldn’t help worrying, the “desire” to be at Lyon’s side turning into a “need,” combatted only by his avoidant nature. 

Did these simple walks in the park when Lyon’s health permitted it mean as much to them as it did to Knoll? He could only wonder.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Knoll caught sight of Lyon slowly lowering themself to the ground. Panic flashed in his chest, before the reality set in that Lyon was simply sitting in the shade. 

_Calm yourself,_ Knoll breathed. 

 

But they could disappear at any second.

 

_Yes..._

 

Don’t let go. You have to stay.

 

It was so easy to drift into a dissociative fugue, but so dangerous with the stakes as they were.

You have to stay. Familiar words of a past life, words he’d repeated to himself over and over when the end looked so tempting. For Lyon and for their legacy, he had to stay alive. 

“Knoll?” Lyon’s gentle voice prodded him back into the present. “Please, sit.” He patted the ground beside him.

“Yes, Highness.”

His automatic response startled a laugh from Lyon, “Please, spare the formality, we’re in New York now.”

With a weak and failed attempt at a smile, Knoll nodded, kneeling down, “Apologies.”

“What’s on your mind?” Lyon leaned against the tree, fingers fidgeting with the yellow head of a dandelion they’d plucked.

Eye contact was difficult enough without Lyon asking such direct questions. It felt inappropriate and made Knoll uneasy. In that very same moment, he felt his heart flooding with pride. Not only was he by Lyon’s side again, but in such a warm, friendly setting. Even if Lyon didn’t truly care about what was on Knoll’s mind, it was a well-welcomed flicker of validation in his head.

They haven’t found Ephraim or Eirika yet, of course they rely on only you.

Knoll ignored his harsh inner voice, replying with a question of his own, “Do you ever think about Grado?”

“I try not to reflect on my past mistakes, but it’s inevitable that I do,” Lyon’s blunt response was tinged in bittersweetness. 

“You consider it all a mistake?”

This time Lyon thought it over. A faint smile spread on their lips, then it was gone.

“Well,” they retracted, “not everything.” Their nails split the petals of the flower they absently toyed with, “What did you do after I was gone?”

They’d discussed it once already, briefly, but Lyon’s memory wasn’t in prime condition. Knoll was nothing if not patient.

“We rebuilt Grado,” he responded with little emotion. “Brought it to what it once was, or as best as we could.”

With a gentle laugh, Lyon cut him off, “I said ‘you’ meaning _you._ Singular.”

Flustered, Knoll stammered, “I -- Helped? I,” he swallowed hard, shifting to sit crosslegged, legs going numb beneath him. “I kept your vision alive. I did what I could to make a new Grado that you would be proud of.”

“And then?” Lyon tucked their stray hair behind their ear, unreadable eyes locked onto Knoll’s face.

“I...traveled,” he said vaguely. 

Could he say it? Was now the time? Would there ever be another time?

“I wanted your legacy to build,” Knoll admitted. “Seeing you painted the villain in your own story, for as little time as I saw it, was...painful. I, as well as others who followed you, spread word of what good you’d done, in research as well as ruling. Even if you weren’t to die as a hero, I wanted you to be immortalized for what you truly were.”

“What’s that?”

Even as they asked intrusive, probing questions, Lyon’s eyes were so kind, so earnest, Knoll couldn’t bear to rebuff them.

“You were gentle...and selfless,” Knoll managed to mumble. “A true idealist.” Subtly wringing his fingers in his lap, he finished, “Even if people didn’t listen at first, I just...wanted them to know...” He trailed off, suddenly exhausted.

“Shh,” detecting the strain in Knoll’s voice, Lyon patted his coupled hands gently. “It’s fine, you don’t need to go on.” They smiled, “I could’ve stood to be more honest with you, but I consider you to be one of my successes, you know.”

“...What?”

Eyes closed for a moment, Lyon tapped their temple, “Near the end, what I saw clearer than anything else was the future. I knew if Ephraim saved you, you would...” Lyon shrugged, “You did all I knew you could.”

“If I did all I could, you wouldn’t have died,” Knoll couldn’t stop the bitter words from slipping out.

“My death was inevitable and necessary,” Lyon countered, picking at the grass. “How long did you live after?”

“About fifty years...?” Knoll responded, mystified by the way Lyon seemed to jump from topic to topic.

“That’s wonderful,” they smiled at him. “But why?”  
Knoll sighed, “Please, if you’re going to chide answers from me just come out and say what you must. I’m having trouble following.”

“You told my story,” Lyon rested their chin on their knees. “If I had even one person left behind who was as devoted as you were, then I can’t consider my life to be _entirely_ full of mistakes. Does that make sense?”

“You’re right, but also mistaken,” Knoll disagreed.

That was an easier tone to take than sincerities. In their research, the two had frequently debated theories. It leaned towards cold and impersonal, but Lyon had such a passion for knowledge they’d always light up at the occasion anyway. 

“I have motives of my own,” he continued. “Unrelated motives.”

“Not very subtle motives,” Lyon teased, catching Knoll off guard.

Redfaced, Knoll continued, “P-perhaps not -- I -- Wh, you know...?”

Lyon tapped their temple again, “Always.” They sighed, looking past him at the sky with a small, sad smile, “Don’t you think you deserve someone who’d acknowledge it?”

Of course not. If Lyon had acknowledged it, wouldn’t it be all the more painful to lose them? One look at Lyon’s face and it was clear they were overthinking things, wrapping themself up in past guilt. How many hours had they spent analyzing and reanalyzing all their memories? 

“I try not to reflect on my past mistakes,” they’d said. Obsessive as they were, Lyon would never let what he’d done go. Inevitable, indeed.

Before Knoll could offer a consoling word, Lyon spoke, a tremble in his voice, “Knoll,” a shaking hand took his. “For everything I’ve done, I’m sorry, and for everything you’ve done, thank you.” 

Head bowed, Lyon lightly kissed Knoll’s hand in fealty. They took a shuddering breath, eyes squeezed shut. 

Knoll shifted his hand to intertwine his fingers with Lyon’s, “For better or worse, I don’t think I’ve held a thing against you, my prince.”

“Please don’t call me that...”

“My darling.”

Lyon was silent. Then they let out the most ungrateful snort of a laugh Knoll had ever heard. 

“You have bizarre taste,” Lyon giggle, looking teary-eyed up at their partner. 

Knoll laughed nervously, unsure of what he could possibly say next. 

Like any bad habit, the fear of breaking the illusion settled over his shoulders. If he let go of Lyon’s hand, they would disappear again. He would wake up in another life, another world millions of miles away from them. Or he’d wake up beside them, memories fractured. Would they still love him? Did they even love him now? If he let go of Lyon’s hand, would he be strong enough to take it again, a million lifetimes later?

When he looked into Lyon’s eyes, his heart settled. The pure trust in those eyes was enough. It had the overwhelming thrill of hovering too close to an open flame, and filled his veins with the willpower and strength to fight through those million lifetimes if he had to.

Knoll took a deep breath, and let go.


End file.
